"Show me the right path, O LORD; point out the road for me to follow. Lead me by your truth and teach me, for you are the God who saves me. All day long I put my hope in you." ~ Psalm 25:4-5 (NLT)
As 2012 comes to a close, I am prompted to stop in thoughtful reflection. As I glance back, I am able to consider what God has done in my life. I discern his faithful hand guiding, protecting and leading me. In this moment, I understand that He has accomplished so much. I begin to recognize that He used it all - the good, the bad and the ugly - not only for my good but for His glory. For that I am grateful.
While 2012 has been a personally difficult year for my family and me, God has proven Himself to be faithful. He has used so many challenges and disappointments to strengthen my faith and trust in Him. Because of his steadfast love, I have learned that I can have hope in all things and through all circumstances.
Zephaniah 3:17 says "the LORD your God is in yourmidst, a mighty one who will save; he will rejoice over you with gladness; he will quiet you by his love; he will exult over you with loud singing." Scripture gives me hope because it teaches me that He is always for me. God is always with me, always in my midst and always concerned for me - personally. As I meditate on this verse, the image of a father calming his anxious, helpless child comes to mind. It is comforting to know, that no matter what, my Father loves me!
The journey of life is sometimes hard and requires more faith than I can muster on our own. The tendency to look back grows in me and if I are not careful, I can live life looking back with regrets, with longings, or with continuous "what-ifs." The Bible tells me that God uses circumstances to test my faith (James 1:3) and without faith it is impossible to please Him (Hebrews 11:6). While reflection is healthy, dwelling too long in the past can be crippling to my walk of faith. Since faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not see (Hebrews 11:1) faith doesn't grow in rearview living. Faith is only developed when I cannot see the end result.
God's desire for me is to have a life rooted in faith resulting in growth and maturity. If I know His Word and am looking through eyes of faith, He will show me the right path to take. Regardless of the situation or circumstance, faith will grow in me as I keep my eyes on Jesus, the Author and perfecter of faith (Hebrews 12:2).
"But thanks be to God! He gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ. Therefore, my dear brothers and sisters, stand firm. Let nothing move you. Always give yourselves fully to the work of the Lord, because you know that your labor in the Lord is not in vain." ~ I Corinthians 15:57-58
If I believe the Bible, I need to live my life in such a way that displays that belief to the world around me. My life needs to actively demonstrate the understanding that God is in control, and that He only allows situations into my life that are ultimately good for me and ones that will bring glory to Him.
The Bible teaches me that no matter what happens in my life, I should be grateful. My gratefulness comes from the fact that I have victory through Jesus Christ. I not only have victory over sin and death, I have victory over all circumstances.
I know firsthand that in the moment, winning sometimes feels like losing. Living this kind of life is not easy, and it takes a great deal of faith and trust in the Lord. The end result, as a follower of Christ, will always be for my good and for His glory. Being a more Christlike person is a victory; but ultimately the victory is over death, and that is where my gratitude lies. For the believer, death is as frightening and powerful as a shadow. The shadow of death can bring no harm to me because Jesus took the punishment for my sin. He conquered sin and the grave, and for that I am extremely grateful!
In order for me to live a victorious, Christian life; I need to know what the Bibles says and what I believe. I need to be able to clearly discern the truth of God's Word. Furthermore, I need to be willing to take a stand for the right things. If I believe something but am not willing to stand for it, what does that really say about my belief system? Do I really believe what I say I believe?
I need to be willing to not just stand, but to stand firm. This stance means that I am so sure about what I know is truth, I am willing to risk the known for the unknown. When I take this type of stand, I am not guaranteed a "positive" outcome. Sometimes taking a stand will test my resolve. Will I be swayed by popularity? Will I be afraid of what will happen to me? Am I willing to stand for what is right - simply because it is right? What is my motivation? Will I stand only when I am guaranteed success?
If I believe what I say I believe, my life needs to be a life of gratefulness for what Jesus did for me. Gratefulness that is displayed through giving of myself and my possessions. I know that this type of living is not in vain even when winning feels like losing. One day I will stand before the Lord, and I desire to hear Him say, "Well done, my good and faithful servant..."
These are my thoughts from my pastor, Jeff Ginn's, sermon on Sunday, July 22, 2012.
Waiting is hard work. It is human nature to not like waiting. I want what I want, when I want it. Waiting requires patience and endurance on my part, and that can be quite difficult for me.
With six children, you can image how much time I have spent in the waiting room. I have had my fair share of waiting either due to an appointment, because of an emergency situation or waiting through the process of childbirth.
I have waited for a number of reasons...
...I was sick,
...It was time for my annual check-up,
...I needed a diagnostic test, or
...I was with someone else needing the doctor's attention.
The waiting room is a temporary place. It is not meant for long-term occupancy, therefore it is equipped with just enough materials to keep me somewhat comfortable and busy. It consists of activities that I can easily walk away from when my name is called.
God's waiting room is a lot like the one at the doctor's office.
Sometimes God has me in the waiting room because I am "sick". I have sin issues that need to be worked through, confessed and abandoned. This would be things like anger or bitterness over past wrongs committed against me. I can also be "sick" because I am not doing what needs to be done to keep my soul "healthy" such as prayer, Bible study or fellowship with others.
At times, I am just waiting because I am in need of an annual assessment of my spiritual goals and life purpose. Sometimes God uses the waiting room as a time to help me refocus, refresh and redefine my attention on what is truly important in life.
Other times, I am in the waiting room because it is a test. God is testing my willingness to wait on Him, my willingness to wait on His timing and my willingness to wait on His plan. He is helping me grow in my faith and relationship with Him.
God will also use the waiting room to test my motives. Is life about me, or is it about serving Him and others?
The wait that I find most difficult is when I am waiting with someone else, and I can't move forward until they move forward. This can be the most trying of times. Having to wait because another person is not moving or will not move is simply frustrating.
When I am in the waiting room, I watch other people and see them achieve progress to the next area while I remain behind. Watching others succeed while I feel stuck is hard for me especially when I feel it is my turn to move forward...simply because I have been waiting longer.
As time moves along and it reaches a point in which I feel my time is about up, I am easily distracted by the amount of time spent in waiting and can become frustrated and impatient. I have learned that having a bad attitude about waiting only makes the wait more difficult for EVERYONE.
As I spend day 106 in the Unemployment Waiting Room, I find myself at peace with God, knowing that my time in the waiting room is temporary, and He will be calling my name in just a short time.
While waiting, I might as well get comfortable and stay busy while remaining alert to His voice calling my name...calling me beyond the waiting room and into His glorious plan for my life.
But those who wait upon the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar with wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint. ~ Isaiah 40:31
I hate how my emotions sometime get in the way of what I know to be true about God. For example, I know that God is in control, and I know that the circumstances of my life have been allowed for specific reasons. Furthermore, I believe that nothing happens by chance, but rather all things happen for a purpose. If I believe this to be true, then why do I allow my emotions to take me places that are so destructive to my faith?
I am in the middle of a job search for an elementary teaching position, and I have been applying for teaching jobs since April. Needless to say, my summer has not been a time of fun and relaxation. I spend much of my time searching job posting, printing documents and meeting mostly receptionists. I have applied for so many positions that I have lost count.
Due to the lack of a job, my husband and I have to make some difficult decisions regarding the education of two of our six children. Without a job, we cannot afford the private school tuition for the school they attend. We have always allowed our children to attend the school of their choice and really hate that we may not be able to grant their wishes this school year. With just three weeks from the starting date, our time is getting short for making this decision. As you can imagine, this time crunch is what prompted my downward spiral into the abyss.
Just today, I got caught up in the feeling of being invisible and unwanted. It has boggled my mind that even though I have completed numerous applications, I have received little feedback in the way of an interview or even an email stating that the job I applied for has been filled. I have learned a great deal through this process, and the greatest thing that I have learned is the importance of treating people with dignity and respect. The Golden Rule never goes out-of-style. I still believe that people should treat others the way they would want to be treated. We have forgotten the need to empathize with those around us.
Is it too much to expect potential employers to correspond with prospective employees as to the status of their application? Job hunters spend a lot of money on high-quality resume' paper, computer printer ink, envelopes, postage and gasoline during their job search. In addition, they spend countless hours completing applications and obtaining the necessary documentation required for the position they are seeking. Is it too much to expect a little professionalism from those desiring professional educators? I think not.
Well, due to the lack of response, I started to feel as if I were invisible, unseen by the naked eye. I really started to question whether or not I included my name and telephone number on the resumes I sent out. As much as invisibleness can wound, nothing stings like that of being unwanted. The feeling of having nothing to offer a school, parents or a child as a teacher is overwhelming to me. I know this is not true, but the feelings come anyway.
Today, in the middle of my pain and broken-heartedness, God showed up. He has a way of gently reminding me of His great love for me, my husband and my children. I am overwhelmed by His goodness to me even in my times of unfaithfulness and self-pity.
In the middle of my unbelief, God prompted a dear angel to reach out and remind me that He is in control, that He sees me, that He knows my need and that He has not forgotten me. I received a phone call this afternoon from a friend wanting to deliver something to my home. As I answered the door, she handed me an envelope and said, "Someone gave this to me, for you." She stayed for a short time and then left.
After she was gone, I opened the envelope and began to cry. I was overjoyed for God's provision, yet ashamed by my lack of faith in what I know to be true about Him. All day I had allowed Satan to effect my emotions as I began to believe the lie he was telling me. I hate when I listen to that liar.
I know that the will of God will never take me where the grace of God will not protect and provide for me. Thank you, God, and thank you to the person that gave so freely. I look forward to all that God will do through my job search. I know that there will be a time of great celebration at what God has done, and I believe that it will happen soon!
Consider the ravens: They do not sow or reap, they have no storeroom or barn; yet God feeds them. And how much more valuable you are than birds!
"It is easier to find a score of men wise enough to discover the truth than to find one intrepid enough, in the face of opposition to stand up for it." ~ A. A. Hodge
Today, the Supreme Court of the United States upheld the Obama Administration's controversial healthcare law with a narrow 5-4 vote. This law will mandate that all American's have healthcare insurance coverage even though the vote was in direct violation of the commerce clause of the U.S. Constitution. This vote determined that healthcare coverage is a valid tax on the American population.
How can seemingly intelligent individuals order people to purchase healthcare coverage? How can seeming compassionate individuals tax the poor, those that can afford coverage the least? What will it do to the quality of healthcare in this country for all of us? This is not a good decision for anyone! As controversial and seemingly insensitive to others this truth may be, healthcare is not a constitutional right offered to citizens of the United States.
Am I surprised by this ruling? Not at all. I have seen it coming, and I believe times will only get worse. Unless people in this country unite and stand for what is right in their daily life, things will not change. The government is only a reflection of the individual integrity and morality of its citizens.
Over the last several years, I have seen in my own world people that know what is right cower in the face of opposition. I have seen unbelievable evil prevail amounting in ridicule, injustice and persecution for the one that stands against it. Evil can only prevail when good people fail to unite behind truth, justice, and common sense.
If I fail to stand up for what is good and right in my daily life, how can I expect anything more from someone else? I have stood. I have suffered. I have sacrificed. Why do I stand against such things? I stand simply because it is the right thing to do. To do anything less is an atrocity to my own soul. Doing right is costly individually. Being cowardly is costly corporately.
I hope this serves as a rally cry toward personal integrity and personal accountability.
Here are the brave ones that stood for the people today.
"If My people, which are called by My name, shall humble themselves, and pray, and seek My face, and turn from their wicked ways; then will I hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin, and will heal their land." -- 2 Chronicles 7:14
I believe that technology should be integrated into every classroom.
By technology, I am not referring to websites, videos, and power point (although these are beneficial to students.) I mean actual hands-on, project-based learning such as Web 2.0 Tools. These tools enable teachers and students to create, collaborate, and communicate online.
Web 2.0 Tools such as blogs, glogs, and wikis are simple and quick to learn resulting in immediate enhancement of student learning. Blogs are online journals that promote discussion among students and teachers; glogs are online, interactive poster-making tools (imagine no more crinkled posters cluttering your classroom); and wikis are websites that can be edited by students promoting successful, collaborative group projects.
Journals, posters, and project group discussions are no longer adequate preparation for the students' future employment. Students need high level computer operating skills. Students need creative opportunities using various technology tools to prepare them for jobs that have yet to be created. The integration of technology into the classroom is essential for the future success of our students because it develops and refines crucial skills while promoting creativity using real world technological tools.
The technology of my day was a slide projector, super 8 movies, and an overhead projector. This technology was adequate in preparing me for my future employment; however, is it grossly inadequate for today's high tech jobs. Have the classrooms changed all that much? I think not. The slide projector has become a power point presentation; the super 8 movie has become a video or website; and the overhead projector has become a glorified underused active board.
Are students being engaged in learning? Are they learning skills that will prepare them for their future? Many classrooms today have progressed little beyond the classroom of yesterday. While this type of classroom instruction may have worked for you and me, it will do little to advance our students’ future success.
The person I am today is a direct result of the people that have made an investment in my life. I did not arrive at my current place simply because of my own hard work, my own unique abilities or my own special skills. I am an amalgamation of the people, places and events that have touched my life.
Sometimes this investment involved a large amount of time and other times only brief moments. The resulting effect has not always been in direct proportion to the time spent. In some instances, the quality of time had great significance even though the quantity of time was short.
The event which had the greatest significance on my personal growth and development happened 23 years ago today, June 23, 1989. I was attending the International Convention of my sorority, Alpha Omicron Pi, just outside Tarpon Springs, Florida. I was 25 years old, married just 18 months and expecting my first child.
I remember...
... trying to fall asleep that night.
... not being able to get comfortable.
... feeling as though I had a ball rolling around inside me.
... the pain subsiding only when I sat up straight.
... thinking that perhaps it was indigestion.
... calling my sorority sisters, Patti and Dina.
... being rushed to the hospital.
... being placed in a room - alone.
... giving birth.
... the pain of loss.
I remember you, my son.
Matthew David Kennedy lived a short time on this earth but his life has made a significant impact on who I am today. He will live forever in my heart.
I don't know why the LORD allowed this pain in my life. He allowed it for reasons I may never know. I have made the choice not to become bitter but rather to embrace the lessons learned.
Life is full of choices. I choose to believe that nothing will ever happen to me that is contrary to His glorious plan for my life...a plan for good and not evil...a plan to give me a future and a hope.
Many, O LORD, my God, are the wonders you have done. The things you planned for us no one can recount to you; were I to speak and tell of them, they would be too many to declare. ~ Psalm 40:5
The rain had just started to fall as he ran to his car to begin his normal evening routine. Gold's Gym in Covington, Louisiana was his destination. He rarely missed working out even when it was inconvenient. It had become a habit that followed him throughout his life. The threat of weather was not going to keep him away, not tonight.
Routine was his only friend. Struggling through his recent divorce, the stress was draining him of his desire to move forward. This had been his second marriage. How, he wondered, could it end this way? Again?
Kenny was a bodybuilder, and for a man of 62, he looked remarkably young. His massive body took up every square inch of the seating area of his Acura sedan. Working out and winning trophies was a God-send. It was a respite from the demands of life and from the regrets of the soul. Regrets that keep a man up at night. Regrets that tore at the fabric of his family. Ripping it to shreds like a forgotten flag in the midst of a fierce storm. When the calm finally came, he was worn out, beaten and alone. The outward shell of a man, strong in appearance but empty inside. He was unable to put away the pain and suffering he had caused to friends, to family, to himself.
Gold's Gym was only a short drive down Bennet Bridge Road, then a turn to the right onto Highway 25 toward Covington. The usual route. Routine. He could drive this road with his eyes closed. Familiar was this path. However, tonight the sky was misty and it was a little darker than it usually was at dusk. The weather was beginning to take a turn for the worst.
Kenny didn't know what was coming toward him. He didn't know the wild young man. The one without a thought for anyone. The drugs and alcohol made him fearless as he carelessly passed motorist, first on the right shoulder, then on the left. The left side had traffic flying toward him faster than he could judge. Careless. Reckless. Out-of-control.
Just after 6:00 on June 21, 2005, the routine came to an end. I'm told it was instant. This crazed young man rammed Kenny's car into an embankment which surround both sides of this two-laned highway. The car had nowhere to go but to collapsed into itself, pushing the steering wheel until it was inches from the back seat.
There was nothing the EMTs could do for Kenny. He was crushed. It was several hours before the family was finally notified because it had taken that long to identify him by his fingerprints. His family would never see him again. Cremation was the only option for someone in his condition the coroner calmly stated.
On that day my daddy was taken from me and my world fell apart. The circumstances of his death flung me into a pit of confusion and chaos. That was seven years ago, today. I miss him and grieve the loss, not just for myself, but also for my six children.
As for Mark, he walked away from that gruesome scene straight into a police car with hardly a scratch. Today, he resides in the Louisiana State Penitentiary at Angola. I wonder what he thinks about. How many times does he relive that night? I am sure he has regrets. Regrets of the soul that keep him up at night. I pray that he has learned from his mistakes and that it makes him a better man.
I have forgiven Mark. I did that a long time ago. Forgiveness has freed me from a life of bitterness and regret. However, forgiveness has not freed him from the consequences of his actions.
Much grace was extended in the formulation of his sentencing. He was sentenced to 25 years of hard labor with the possibility of 15 years with good behavior. His sentence is conditional. If he gets out early for good behavior, he must cause no harm to his community. If he does, he returns to jail for 10 years without parole.
I praise the Lord, that one day I will see my daddy again. He'll be waiting for me at the Eastern Gate where the streets are paved with pure gold.
Today, I continued the job search by submitting a substitute teacher packet to the Ascension Parish School Board in Donaldsonville, Louisiana. For those that are unfamiliar with the area in which I live, Donaldsonville is located on the opposite side of the Mississippi River from Baton Rouge.
On the way, I passed several signs pointing the way to various plantation homes - Bocage Plantation, Houmas House Plantation, Oak Alley Plantation, to name a few. I was thinking how nice it would be to visit all those homes. I needed to do that one day. Well, upon leaving the school board office, I got a crazy idea. I decide to take a little detour and drive down river toward Oak Alley Plantation in Vacherie.
I hate to say it, but I have lived in southeast Louisiana my whole life and have never visited Oak Alley. I have seen it with my own eyes so I guess that counted for something. But...can anyone really see something so grand by simply slowing down, taking a quick look and continuing down the road? I think not, and today I was going to make it right. I was going to play tourist in my own backyard.
It was a great day of sight-seeing, snapping photos and self-reflecting. I needed the time away from my planned, predictable and fast-paced life to slow down long enough to appreciate the beauty around me.
Colossians 3:15 came to mind as I was driving home. It says, "Let the peace of God rule in your heart." In that moment, I realized I was warring with the peace of God. I was not letting it rule. I was letting fear and worry rule. The heart is where everything in my life flows from so whatever I allow to rule, will reign in my life, in my thoughts and in my actions. I can have peace in my life - in all circumstances - on one condition, I have to LET peace rule in my heart.
I took over 250 photos with the camera that I had in my purse - my trusty ole pink Canon Sure Shot. I wish I had had my really good camera, but this was a spontaneous adventure. I hope you enjoy the few I posted.
It is day 75 of unemployment and I am being reflective. Not complaining, but thinking. Wondering, why am I still in this race pounding the pavement looking for a job? Running, running, running. My tweet of the day summed it up like this... "Pounding the pavement...in the race...jobbing... hahaha...God is my faithful provider!"
I wonder so much. I wonder if the day spent standing in line at the job fair was profitable? I haven't heard a word from all that I invested. To think, I got there 2 hours early on a Saturday morning for the chance of being one of the lucky ones to write my name on the sign up sheet for an interview. I was blessed to be number 15. Number 15 out of well over 300 teachers to sign up for around 80 time slots! Blessed! Some teachers left without having the opportunity to interview at all.
Sorry to say, the interview probably won't lead to a job offer. Why? Because most of the schools have already filled their vacancies. Since it is a parish wide fair, all the schools have to attend and interview perspective applicants. I am grateful for the practice interviewing though because my skills are a little rusty. It has been awhile since I went "jobbing".
Here and there, I run. Running to wait...running to stand in line...running to be told, "I can't take that until you do this". I need to get my fingerprints, fill out another
form, another application, get a money order (NO CASH ALLOWED), mail those stacks of resumes', and get some more postage stamps...don't forget those stamps. I need to write my thank you letters. I am exhausted just thinking about all that I have done, and all that I still have to do. The race goes on...
For Louisiana teachers, these are "gloomy days" - as one of my friends put it. From Governor Jindal's budget cuts in higher education to the East Baton Rouge Parish School District fighting to keep itself together, Louisiana is facing some difficult times.
I am so glad that I am not in control of the plans for my life! If I had to navigate my way through this mess, I don't think I could survive. I am grateful that God has a plan for my life, and I can trust Him to accomplish all that He has intended for me. All that is required of me is to have a willingness to walk in obedience and trust His loving guidance. Sometimes, that is easier said than done. I get depressed and think all is lost. In those moments, I have to refocus and remind myself of God's promises to me.
I can quote scripture all day long and sound really spiritual, but when the times get tough what I truly believe is displayed in how I live my life. Do I trust God? Is He big enough to provide? Did He get thrown off course and have to figure out what to do with me? I don't think so. It is somehow part of His wonderful sovereign will. What an adventure! My knuckles are white from holding on.
I am still in the race. I need to keep my running shoes near the door!
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God's desire for me is to have a life rooted in faith resulting in growth and maturity. If I know His Word and am looking through eyes of faith, He will show me the right path to take. Regardless of the situation or circumstance, faith will grow in me as I keep my eyes on Jesus, the Author and perfecter of faith (Hebrews 12:2). 
